Horses

people say that it's just a horse
people see a horse as an animal

they don't see what i see in them
they don't understand my love for horses
sometimes i don't either, it's just crazy how horses make me feel
you don't only get to teach them but you get to learn from them
you learn from them the things school can never teach you
from them I've learned the true meaning of life

to me horses are the definition of love and happiness
horses and horse riding makes me feel free
they make me feel like i'm on top of the world
they make me feel invincible and strong
most importantly they make me feel more alive than ever

i can just sit for countless hours admiring their beauty and how they seem to make everything around them beautiful as well.

horses aren't just a part of my life, they are my life and a piece of me that i never wish to let go of
i need horses more that i need air in my lungs

they just make me forget about everything for a while including the real harsh world  "reality"
knowing that i need to worry about nothing at all

i can write about them for days but words can never describe my love for horses

"They are my favorite place, they are my getaway."

Recovering

she was so ill from something you call a "broken heart"

if this is not an illness i don't know what is

once your heart is broken you'll start seeing things differently 

once your heart is broken you wont ever be the same

having a broken heart is like watching your reflection in a broken mirror

you see yourself shattered in so many small pieces but you cant do anything about it

you cant collect back the pieces together 

once its broken it can never be the same,ever again

the pain of a broken heart is unbearable

the pain of a broken heart can ruin a person, literally

you'll shut everyone out

you don't accept the idea of being loved or loving someone ever again

your heart will turn into a solid, hard rock

day by day you'll grow emotionless and just cold as the winter breeze

"I'm still recovering from the heartache you left me

 with and only with more pain to carry on my shoulders."

too broken to give a damn..

the girl who had life in her eyes before she is now dead from the inside

the girl that once had a big heart is just heartless now

that girl has turned into a whole new person 

what is freedom?

free·dom

  [free-duhm] noun

the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.

freedom is not just being able to do anything or go anywhere
freedom is not just that, it's much more than that

freedom is being able to let yourself have fun
freedom is being able to forget all the pain of yesterday
freedom is being able to live the moment and actually feel it
freedom is being able to let go
freedom is being carefree

those who are seeking freedom are the ones who are ready to let go of their fears
those who never got the taste of freedom are often miserable
those who never tasted freedom are the ones that never really lived life
those who got the taste of freedom are the fortunate ones
they got to see life in many different angles

being free is being reckless

freedom is such a beautiful thing
not everyone gets to REALLY experience it though

Aching soul

"why did yo give up on me?"she said

how could someone give up on the person they love
or at least the person who once cared about them
the person who loved them with all their flaws

when you love someone so much nothing else in this world matters
when you love someone so much you reach to the point where you cant even understand it yourself
when you love someone you can also get fooled and not notice all the lies that they have been feeding you

all the i love you's
all the promises
were all just lies

"you played me and my feelings like i was some kind of a sick game to you?"she said.

your heart will start aching like never before
it'll start aching for the one who broke you
it'll start aching for allowing yourself to love someone this much

mostly you'll feel sorry for yourself
you'll never be the same person
this will change you forever

as from this point you're too broken to function
not just broken or hurt ,but angry at yourself for allowing yourself to fall for someone
that caused you so much pain
you're angry for giving someone a piece of your heart,for letting them in

old me

as i quite remember my old me wasn't really good to me

yes, I'm at this point where my broken pieces are even more broken than before

i'm at the same old bad place that i was in long time ago

the place where i thought that i would never go back to

it all starts by pushing people away and not letting them in

then you start isolating yourself 

by isolating yourself you think that you're protecting yourself

by isolating yourself it only gets worse

how can you protect yourself from something that has already been done?

the damage has already been done you can't just undo it

its impossible

just like how you're way too broken to be fixed

you're already numb cause you've been there and done that

you're numb to all the pain and heartache

now you're just emotionless and cold

you can barely feel any emotion

the worst part is that you can't cry about it

or even let your emotions out 

thats only called being numb form the pain

its because you've been through this many times

you just got used to that kind of pain

Second choice

They tell you they love you and they'll love you forever

they tell you you're their everything 

they tell you they want you,they need you and they can never live without you 

They tell you you mean the world to them and nothing can come between you and them 

They tell you they don't want to ever lose you

then there's always this one person who they would choose over you.

This is just ironic they tell you all of that good stuff and that you're the one then they leave you for someone else.

They leave you like you were nothing to them

They leave you like you never meant anything to them

They leave you hanging onto something that was nothing from the start

feeling that you never were good enough for them

feeling that you never were their first choice 

Realizing that after the damage has been done 

that you were their second choice