Aching soul

"why did yo give up on me?"she said

how could someone give up on the person they love
or at least the person who once cared about them
the person who loved them with all their flaws

when you love someone so much nothing else in this world matters
when you love someone so much you reach to the point where you cant even understand it yourself
when you love someone you can also get fooled and not notice all the lies that they have been feeding you

all the i love you's
all the promises
were all just lies

"you played me and my feelings like i was some kind of a sick game to you?"she said.

your heart will start aching like never before
it'll start aching for the one who broke you
it'll start aching for allowing yourself to love someone this much

mostly you'll feel sorry for yourself
you'll never be the same person
this will change you forever

as from this point you're too broken to function
not just broken or hurt ,but angry at yourself for allowing yourself to fall for someone
that caused you so much pain
you're angry for giving someone a piece of your heart,for letting them in

old me

as i quite remember my old me wasn't really good to me

yes, I'm at this point where my broken pieces are even more broken than before

i'm at the same old bad place that i was in long time ago

the place where i thought that i would never go back to

it all starts by pushing people away and not letting them in

then you start isolating yourself 

by isolating yourself you think that you're protecting yourself

by isolating yourself it only gets worse

how can you protect yourself from something that has already been done?

the damage has already been done you can't just undo it

its impossible

just like how you're way too broken to be fixed

you're already numb cause you've been there and done that

you're numb to all the pain and heartache

now you're just emotionless and cold

you can barely feel any emotion

the worst part is that you can't cry about it

or even let your emotions out 

thats only called being numb form the pain

its because you've been through this many times

you just got used to that kind of pain

Second choice

They tell you they love you and they'll love you forever

they tell you you're their everything 

they tell you they want you,they need you and they can never live without you 

They tell you you mean the world to them and nothing can come between you and them 

They tell you they don't want to ever lose you

then there's always this one person who they would choose over you.

This is just ironic they tell you all of that good stuff and that you're the one then they leave you for someone else.

They leave you like you were nothing to them

They leave you like you never meant anything to them

They leave you hanging onto something that was nothing from the start

feeling that you never were good enough for them

feeling that you never were their first choice 

Realizing that after the damage has been done 

that you were their second choice