faking happiness

she walked into the room full of people with a huge bright smile on her face.
helping everyone who needs help , laughing and joking around with random people.
thats just what she does.thats who she is.
but not everyone knows her story.

That huge and bright smile of hers is just another way to hide her pain.
laughing and joking around with other people is just another way of covering up the tears.and that girl probably cries herself to sleep every night but yet she acts all happy and positive infront of people.
she might seem strong but she breaks.

one day she walked into that room again but she was a completely different person.
as she sat alone in the corner of the room watching everyone around her all happy and positive but her made her even more sad.
she felt sorry for herself how she can never be good enough for anyone.
how she keeps disappointing everyone.
how she keeps losing people everyday.
even her closest friends started judging her and that what made it worse.
everyone knows how it feels to not have your closest friends by your side.
everyone knows how it feels when friends change all of the sudden
everyone knows how it hurts when friends leave just like that out of the blue with no reasons.

she said to herself "how come when they need me or anyone else needs me i'm always there for them. but when i need someone to give me hope ,to have my back or even stand by side no one is there."
everyone needs someone sometimes.
for a moment she felt worthless , left out and mostly unwanted.
she tries to cover up her pain with the broken smile of hers but how long can she do this?
everything she does turns into a mistake or a bigger problem its like a dead end she can never run away from reality.

"what if one day i was gone no one would ever notice i'll be just a memory. i cant take this no more. faking happiness is my worst sadness.whats the point of being alive while i feel dead from the inside." she said.